


than to have never loved

by badass_normal



Category: Lost
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-06-25
Updated: 2010-06-25
Packaged: 2017-10-11 01:20:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/106707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badass_normal/pseuds/badass_normal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Danny deals with Colleen's death. Or rather, fails to deal with it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	than to have never loved

Two hours after her death, it sinks in, while he is on his own.

When he tips back his head and silent screams tear from his throat and sobs render him breathless and the dullest agony imaginable grows swollen in his heart, a part of him relishes the sphere of outright distress that comes swinging through in grief's wake. Because among all the elements of mortality, shortcomings and blessings alike, he has always felt most comfortable with _pain_.

He mourns. Vocally, gutturally proclaims his anguish to the deserted beach and the ugly horizon of the ocean. He allows himself thirty minutes to fly apart, shattered into fragments of what he was when he had Colleen. The loathing for other men that has been his flaw all his life transforms into raw, overwhelming hatred, beginning with James fucking Ford and ending with Ben himself.

A pulse pounds in his temple. His blood cold.

\--

They send her out to sea that night. Shephard is there. Shephard, who failed to save her. He would break the guy's neck if tonight weren't the time to honor Colleen's memory.

His comrades are silent as the gentle music resonates across the emptiness ahead, forcing a tragic cheer upon them all. He wonders if any of them have truly suffered before, this crippling black hole that has collapsed his heart.

But he doesn't, really. Wonder. Apathy is just one of those parasites that grabs on after your guts and soul are ripped out and slammed breathless. Like this.

\--

There is nothing for him to go back to. No life to rebuild.

Tunnel vision—

the bloodlust assaults him next and streams all murderous in Ford's direction. The gun, ice and steel in his palm, anchors him to the land of the living for now, all he has left.


End file.
